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in my dreams (feat. Liiight)

from I Thought I Lost You by mars kumari

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lyrics

i done missed so many things in the pursuit of this perfection
i overshot the finish but couldn’t answer your questions
my life lessons come with tears in my eyes and a lump in my throat
and the truth is hard to swallow but it’s better when i know
that all the fish done fucking died, i been wrestling with my soul
they called me gifted, took it striding through my pride, it turned my pocket to a hole, if that’s not me then i’m not whole
family history of anemia they found my body cold
is it wrong to say i think that i could die alone
no more shit left up to chance, weighted dice to roll
ain’t been playing bout my bands put life on hold
i think that i could die alone
cause where the fuck you keep a family when you got no home
can’t put em on go when you always gone, oughta know

but ain’t nobody listening no way
i say it soft so when i speak
the wind, it carries away
go to my cross, i bear your sins i shed my skin i got flayed
splayed on the canvas just a carcass rotten, toss it away
i lie awake in shallow graves this curse inscribed to my frame
my rigid bones may poke and show but still they never will break
i bend my back in half to take the load off yours, no more pain
i grimace gritting my teeth
i think i’m going insane
said i could end it but i think they’d just continue the game
and what’s the point of all this losing if i never get to win
no graceful L’s or parallel to my play
my solace stash me away
i been leaving ash on the altar
i know the shape of your face
i know the shape of your face
i know the way you light up
i hope you know that i pray
i wish you’d see how i’ve changed
i pray your health and your name
i know the shape of your face

i think i gave up on love
pray it ain’t give up on me
i know the shape of your face
i still see it in my dreams

credits

from I Thought I Lost You, released December 1, 2023

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mars kumari Oakland, California

When Jacques Derrida defined the lingering Marxism of late-Capitalist society as hauntological, mashing together the words haunting and ontology, he couldn’t have imagined what the era might sound like. Mars Kumari captures the grief and grit of loss we all feel now, haunted as we are by what was here and is now missing."
-Roy Christopher


Deadverse
Bruiser Brigade
 ... more

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