1. |
the orbitoclast
05:49
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2. |
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i’ve fought
tooth and nail
to build a body
only
to remain mortal
and to rot from time
we’re not allowed
to wither and wrinkle
forbidden to age
permitted to die
–
is it a premonition
if it’s known to be inevitable?
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3. |
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1
Dispatches from the darkest recesses
Received intermittent transmission
Shortwave radio
shorthand planned as code
Foreboding sense that all of this been fleeting or told
Bobbing and weaving against torrential tirades
as last bastions of intelligencia migrate
Recurring migraines.
No need to hydrate this severely dry wit
They insist we have so much in common,
but they just common
and honestly? AINT. IT.
Shift uncomfortably in social settings
When do we Begin the blood letting?
No sense in vetting a guest list that’s forever nill
For real ... most comfortable still in sparsely lit rooms.
Consumed in thoughts that echoed off walls eternal
We Reverberation of generations that breathe within these verbals.
Culture kept internal
Only meant for those within our circle
somehow trust been compromised
Dust settled now the design was optimized
Colonizers fear the colonized
The Fool’s gold they stole, oxidized.
Never realized The true treasure lies within the blood they spilt and ostracized
The true treasure lies within the blood they spilt and ostracized
The true treasure lies within the blood they spilt and ostracized
The true treasure lies within the blood they spilt and ostracized
The true treasure lies within the blood they spilt
2
Been demonized for a quarter century
Revised charts
align stars but we still off course
Contrived bars’ll sound forced
These flow with complexity of cardiovascular system
Inherit wisdom synced to simplistic rhythm
Spitting truth was a given.
Inner visions came to fruition
I fucks wit the handful that listened
Found my tribe to survive a joyless division.
Redefined our traditions
Weight of the world only made my backbone stiffen.
Out lasted the bastards that lacked ambition
Let me stop:
The Flowers are for the florists
These sonics is for the rawest.
Fathered this shit like Osiris did Horus.
Fathered this shit like Osiris did Horus.
The true treasure lies within the blood they spilt and ostracized (Repeat)
3
808s in August announced the next
mic cords like umbilicals wrapped around they necks.
These connects mad subliminal and too complex
Forced to provide breadcrumbs that some digest
This rap so we forced to guess who dies next.
They taking headshots now so fuck that vest.
Violence begets violence, remain unimpressed
There’s No end of my world, but I digress.
Cyclical. It’s all cyclical.
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4. |
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i’m soul searching
soul hurting
a soulless sergeant
solar flare gun,
igniting my soul’s apartment
soul serengeti
lost code
corpse mating near crossroads
science vs soul
searching for a way home
ensouled scratch surface
sober ponto
he told his love
if you can save my soul
ima suck the soul up out you
my search
my soul
my mind
my throne
greeted my old self on a bed of black roses
near the suicide letter
written in cursive
inner meaning
voices in my head
drowned in a twelve foot lake of despair
enter demon
painted prize possession, exiled
as world weighted
my shoulders
allegiance, heaven sung
a nowhere pressure point
searched for gold, reached out to my mother in a red dress requiem
explore pages, awkward phase
children kept quiet, altered world secretly afraid
color of chaos, spirit palm trees
UFO theorize on the color of god’s feet
salt in my tears, down window paint it appears
postcard plugged plug of forgiveness, afterthought our missing year
internally bleeding, oppose those fought of achievement
bells ring in my head, telling me to keep striving
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5. |
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(i just need to phase)
(i just-)
i just need to phase through the rest of my twenties like i’m tryna stay broke,
money not folding in the way you want it to, all jokes aside though
dollar bills ain’t gon lubricate the gate when i’m a ghost to the system,
a phantasm to the spectral intermission
hate chokin’ up in the clutch but speed was never a friend or a foe, just spectator
odometers in the rafters hanging with the old bones off the grid tryna archive my control among the bends,
monumental severance from the temporal lobe, attempted hiding my position from the radar but i couldn’t hold the guise, so i was gliding as a strobe,
guided by the goal, but the connection was divided by the host so the love seems lossless
along with any bearings on the time
defenseless to the chronoception, spilled any memories among the stems in the bonus section,
stealth to everyone but the deepest heads, ripping hands off the clock but the forest of my failures gon tie it up with vines until the deep freeze comes again
porous to the desperation, depressive measures, simple escalation is daunting when you’re plagued by subtly decaying phrases,
at the core this life is boring and ultimately less savory without a savior,
tried to charge myself enough to hear the alarm but my spinal chord was a loose cable,
wasted on the porch i was waiting to emerge a dark horse rider so i could rectify my wasted days and stumble my way to the title,
spent too many decades pinning fault to the Bible
and the generations half in the grave, at my own handcrafted artisanal rock bottom i was erased by artificial faith so now i blossom into plastic arrays and arrangements,
cartilage replaced the strength behind my face so now i sway among the breeze
and the other side of me just waits until the permission to peace
asked the mirror man to just please let me be easy on the tightrope but his condition was less insightful
handed me pill bottle sized pity so i could medicate until the grey skies seemed prettier than dying
incisor marks on the hands that feed me so i’m just surviving
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6. |
go away (feat. L. Coats)
05:58
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Meet me in the dark
Your hair so black and longing
find your evening star
my vesper tall and holy
Feeling fine
Feeling high
Velvet/grey sky
Gems fall from your mouth
Tans and hides
Skins and eyes
Sweet red mouth
Which I kiss
Auburn mountains
in the mist
Your hair so long and black
Round and round, black eyes
closer to the spiral
totem totem lullabies
rotten rotten skies
shadows passing over my eyes
i wonder their curse,
i wonder their prize
build me a bridge
over black water
become a dark bird
and scream out you're mine
Build me a whorehouse
full of bad daughters
spitting red bad words
To men of dust and bone,
men of pine
It's you -- why I come back -- it's you
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7. |
5150
07:01
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8. |
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used to move so desperately
for n****s wishing death on me
gave more than i had
i got that emotional debt on me
living life so recklessly
living life so recklessly
chemicals my detriment
and everybody else can see
everybody else but me
everybody else but me
big ass hole up in my heart
i filled it with them P’s
pills and potions
proportionally potent
tryna placate problems
that keep growing in their portions
i’m my biggest enemy
and everybody else can see
xannies be embracing me
like Nemo and anemones
annihilate my memory
of anything contemporary
the pain that you donated me
is still gon keep on chasing me
i think i need therapy
but vulnerable i’m scared to be
i don’t know who’s really me
and honestly i’m scared to see
who she is and how she acts
or when she don’t hold back
there’s no room for error
because my whole life they cut no slack
my whole life they stabbed my back
my memory has cataracts
of everything that wasn’t bad
the good times they just fade to black
chest full of anxiety
it hurts when i try to breathe
i am scared to let you live
cuz i’m scared of you leaving me
once upon a time
i used to be my mother’s everything
then she had my siblings
that’s when she started beating me
daddy used to say
that they should’ve gotten rid of me
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9. |
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10. |
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Smoke and mirrors in my home
I don't wanna let it go
Smoke and mirrors in my home
I don't wanna let it go
Call me later playa hater
Ass on grass we took you there
Keep it pumpin body jumpin
We pull off another stain
I don't gotta call nobody
Just leave it up to the game
In a body I don't want
My mind tells me that I'm insane
2x
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11. |
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i done missed so many things in the pursuit of this perfection
i overshot the finish but couldn’t answer your questions
my life lessons come with tears in my eyes and a lump in my throat
and the truth is hard to swallow but it’s better when i know
that all the fish done fucking died, i been wrestling with my soul
they called me gifted, took it striding through my pride, it turned my pocket to a hole, if that’s not me then i’m not whole
family history of anemia they found my body cold
is it wrong to say i think that i could die alone
no more shit left up to chance, weighted dice to roll
ain’t been playing bout my bands put life on hold
i think that i could die alone
cause where the fuck you keep a family when you got no home
can’t put em on go when you always gone, oughta know
but ain’t nobody listening no way
i say it soft so when i speak
the wind, it carries away
go to my cross, i bear your sins i shed my skin i got flayed
splayed on the canvas just a carcass rotten, toss it away
i lie awake in shallow graves this curse inscribed to my frame
my rigid bones may poke and show but still they never will break
i bend my back in half to take the load off yours, no more pain
i grimace gritting my teeth
i think i’m going insane
said i could end it but i think they’d just continue the game
and what’s the point of all this losing if i never get to win
no graceful L’s or parallel to my play
my solace stash me away
i been leaving ash on the altar
i know the shape of your face
i know the shape of your face
i know the way you light up
i hope you know that i pray
i wish you’d see how i’ve changed
i pray your health and your name
i know the shape of your face
i think i gave up on love
pray it ain’t give up on me
i know the shape of your face
i still see it in my dreams
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12. |
i thought i lost you
08:53
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13. |
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mars kumari Oakland, California
When Jacques Derrida defined the lingering Marxism of late-Capitalist society as hauntological, mashing together the words
haunting and ontology, he couldn’t have imagined what the era might sound like. Mars Kumari captures the grief and grit of loss we all feel now, haunted as we are by what was here and is now missing."
-Roy Christopher
Deadverse
Bruiser Brigade
... more
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