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it's cold in the deep end (feat. Big Flowers)

from I Thought I Lost You by mars kumari

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lyrics

(i just need to phase)
(i just-)
i just need to phase through the rest of my twenties like i’m tryna stay broke,
money not folding in the way you want it to, all jokes aside though
dollar bills ain’t gon lubricate the gate when i’m a ghost to the system,
a phantasm to the spectral intermission
hate chokin’ up in the clutch but speed was never a friend or a foe, just spectator
odometers in the rafters hanging with the old bones off the grid tryna archive my control among the bends,
monumental severance from the temporal lobe, attempted hiding my position from the radar but i couldn’t hold the guise, so i was gliding as a strobe,
guided by the goal, but the connection was divided by the host so the love seems lossless
along with any bearings on the time
defenseless to the chronoception, spilled any memories among the stems in the bonus section,
stealth to everyone but the deepest heads, ripping hands off the clock but the forest of my failures gon tie it up with vines until the deep freeze comes again
porous to the desperation, depressive measures, simple escalation is daunting when you’re plagued by subtly decaying phrases,
at the core this life is boring and ultimately less savory without a savior,
tried to charge myself enough to hear the alarm but my spinal chord was a loose cable,
wasted on the porch i was waiting to emerge a dark horse rider so i could rectify my wasted days and stumble my way to the title,
spent too many decades pinning fault to the Bible
and the generations half in the grave, at my own handcrafted artisanal rock bottom i was erased by artificial faith so now i blossom into plastic arrays and arrangements,
cartilage replaced the strength behind my face so now i sway among the breeze
and the other side of me just waits until the permission to peace
asked the mirror man to just please let me be easy on the tightrope but his condition was less insightful
handed me pill bottle sized pity so i could medicate until the grey skies seemed prettier than dying
incisor marks on the hands that feed me so i’m just surviving

credits

from I Thought I Lost You, released December 1, 2023

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mars kumari Oakland, California

When Jacques Derrida defined the lingering Marxism of late-Capitalist society as hauntological, mashing together the words haunting and ontology, he couldn’t have imagined what the era might sound like. Mars Kumari captures the grief and grit of loss we all feel now, haunted as we are by what was here and is now missing."
-Roy Christopher


Deadverse
Bruiser Brigade
 ... more

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